Hey there everyone!
I apologize I've been completely absent for a while but it's because I've been embarrassed of my lack of success. When you're trying to change as much as I have it's very easy to fall back, feel overwhelmed and lose motivation when everything is not going perfectly. So, I basically gained the small amount of weight I lost back over the last couple of weeks mostly due to letting myself go crazy on the weekends and not eating as well in the evenings as I should be. I am still doing really well with keeping a healthy diet during the day during the work week but have found myself over-indulging at night and on weekends. However, over the last week, I wasn't perfect, but still did pretty well and actually lost 6 pounds in 5 days without even working out. So that's pretty cool and actually gave me a little boost of confidence which is also good. I think my biggest problem is that I'm finding it very hard to believe in myself which in turn has really taken a toll on my will power. But I also really haven't committed completely to myself. It's just so much easier in the short term to fail myself, ya know? Anyway, what I really want you all to know is that I really am trying...I mean really. And I feel like I'm failing you all as well so far, which is very hard for me to think about. But the solution is so easy, right? Yes and no. I know what I need to do and just need to do it while also remembering that it's not supposed to be easy. Also, I need to continue to remind myself that had I done this in the first place I'd be 130 pounds lighter and wouldn't have 130 pounds to lose...I would just be maintaining. Anyway, at the very latest I will report back next weekend. My plan for this week is to start working out again, even if it's only for 10 minutes every day. I love you all and thank you for your continued support. Have a good night!
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Slowly but Surely...
So, I'm a half a pound lighter from my last weigh-in (I do them once per week), so that's good. ;) I've also decided a few things. I've been thinking a lot about setting myself up for success and not trying to do/change too many things all at once...so, I've decided I'm going to slowly ease myself into all the changes I want to make. So, my first focus of change is on my diet because I believe that is the most important facet of being/getting healthy and trying to lose weight. Once my diet is completely under control I will introduce regular exercise into the mix all the while reducing my alcohol intake even more (p.s. I've been having more beers during the week than originally intended). My focus is on whole, fresh foods...very limited consumption of anything canned or processed and a very much vegetarian aimed diet. I love meat, by the way. I fucking love it! But the fact is that you can get much, much, much, MUCH more total nutritional value out of a few hundred calories of fruits, vegetables, nuts and lentils compared to a few hundred calories of meat. Whole/fresh/vegetarian foods are also highly digestible which in turn keeps kickin' your metabolism in its metabolic ass all day AND your body is able to actually use more of what you're eating. I am no expert by any means but what I can tell you is that being an 80-90% vegetarian is a very healthful and beneficial thing when it comes to your overall health. So, I've been eating this (or close to it) every day during the day: 1 serving of Green Goodness smoothie, a banana, an apple, a baggie of baby carrots, an 8oz oj enriched with calcium, 2 mini Luna bars, a lowfat yogurt smoothie, a baggie of strawberries, a minneola and...hmmmmm, that's about it. Then, for dinner, I'll make something very delicious and healthy, packed full of veggies and other good stuff. I usually have meat with dinner...because I fucking love it...but a healthier meat, usually white meats and I'm not a meat racist either cause dark meats, quite frankly, are the more delicious of the meats. ;) Like tonight we're having enchilada style chicken burritos, packed full of fresh veggies and beans. I think it's really important to cook and eat from only fresh, raw ingredients and only consume fats that occur naturally (such as in nuts) as the sustenance you gain from said consumables is much more easily utilized by your body in every way. Tonight I've also already made the sauce for the pasta and turkey meatballs we're going to have for dinner tomorrow...the sauce includes fresh minced garlic, fresh sliced yellow onions, fresh zucchini, fresh baby bella mushrooms, fresh grape tomotoes, chopped green onions and a butt load of fresh spinach. I'm pretty sure it's going to be delicious...ohhhhhh, wait for it...AND nutritious! BAM! :) We will also be using whole wheat pasta to go with this dish. Ok, more food stuff later.
So, I wanna talk about a few things that motivate me. I think it's really important to have motivators if you're trying to lose weight...not just things like "I really wanna lose weight because I wanna be skinny" but more like what is it deep down that really makes you want to be healthier...some true core motivators. What really makes you not want to fat/unhealthy...something that if you said it to yourself every time you wanted to make an unhealthy decision it would make you hate doughnuts. It's important to realize that there are ALWAYS underlying mental effects that result from be fat. It's an emotional drain, really...not just a physical drain. So, for me, out the eight thousand reasons that I want to be fit and healthy, there are a few things that really stick out for me and really affect my confidence level (a main reason I want to lose weight). The first is riding on airplanes. So, the last time we flew, which was in September, we get on the airplane, situate our things and baggage and sit down in our seats and get ready for takeoff. Once the seat belt light comes on, I go to put my seat belt on and not only have to pull the buckle to as far as it will go on the belt but then when I clasp it, the belt is still a little tight on me. Not to mention, when I put the tray table down it's resting on my legs and touching my belly. Oh yeah, and I also feel completely crowded and like I'm crowding other people. I basically feel like shouting over the whole plane, "Hey everyone! I'm fat and uncomfortable...come see how fat I am! By the way, if I get any fatter, I won't be able to wear this seat belt! Also, did you see how fat I am?. P.s. I love me some chips n' dips!!" So, that's a big thing for me. Another, is how I feel about myself when I'm more of a feminine size in Jude's arms hugging him and being hugged as opposed to being more of a manly size. It has nothing to do with how much he loves me or how much I know that he loves me or how much I love him or how fucking awesome Jude is at hugging...it has everything to do with the way I feel about myself...sometimes I just don't feel like I even let myself enjoy the hugs because I feel so big and bad about myself...and honestly I really do feel less feminine. And hugs are awesome, in case you didn't know...well, good hugs at least. ;) So maybe that's the root motivation of that one...to feel more feminine. Being a fat woman really does make you feel like a dude...it sucks. No matter what your motivation, I think you always need to have a physical and emotional interest in it.
I'll talk more about more of my motivations later, but those are two huge ones. I also apologize for not posting more...I'm really going to try to do it more and maybe not write a novel every single time. Thank you all for your support...it really means everything to me. Goodnight and loves...hopefully I'll be back here in a few days.
P.s. I didn't edit this or check for mistakes, cause I'm really tired. So I apologize in advance for any errors. ;)
So, I wanna talk about a few things that motivate me. I think it's really important to have motivators if you're trying to lose weight...not just things like "I really wanna lose weight because I wanna be skinny" but more like what is it deep down that really makes you want to be healthier...some true core motivators. What really makes you not want to fat/unhealthy...something that if you said it to yourself every time you wanted to make an unhealthy decision it would make you hate doughnuts. It's important to realize that there are ALWAYS underlying mental effects that result from be fat. It's an emotional drain, really...not just a physical drain. So, for me, out the eight thousand reasons that I want to be fit and healthy, there are a few things that really stick out for me and really affect my confidence level (a main reason I want to lose weight). The first is riding on airplanes. So, the last time we flew, which was in September, we get on the airplane, situate our things and baggage and sit down in our seats and get ready for takeoff. Once the seat belt light comes on, I go to put my seat belt on and not only have to pull the buckle to as far as it will go on the belt but then when I clasp it, the belt is still a little tight on me. Not to mention, when I put the tray table down it's resting on my legs and touching my belly. Oh yeah, and I also feel completely crowded and like I'm crowding other people. I basically feel like shouting over the whole plane, "Hey everyone! I'm fat and uncomfortable...come see how fat I am! By the way, if I get any fatter, I won't be able to wear this seat belt! Also, did you see how fat I am?. P.s. I love me some chips n' dips!!" So, that's a big thing for me. Another, is how I feel about myself when I'm more of a feminine size in Jude's arms hugging him and being hugged as opposed to being more of a manly size. It has nothing to do with how much he loves me or how much I know that he loves me or how much I love him or how fucking awesome Jude is at hugging...it has everything to do with the way I feel about myself...sometimes I just don't feel like I even let myself enjoy the hugs because I feel so big and bad about myself...and honestly I really do feel less feminine. And hugs are awesome, in case you didn't know...well, good hugs at least. ;) So maybe that's the root motivation of that one...to feel more feminine. Being a fat woman really does make you feel like a dude...it sucks. No matter what your motivation, I think you always need to have a physical and emotional interest in it.
I'll talk more about more of my motivations later, but those are two huge ones. I also apologize for not posting more...I'm really going to try to do it more and maybe not write a novel every single time. Thank you all for your support...it really means everything to me. Goodnight and loves...hopefully I'll be back here in a few days.
P.s. I didn't edit this or check for mistakes, cause I'm really tired. So I apologize in advance for any errors. ;)
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Things are a changin'
Alright, so I've come to the realization that I'm trying to do too much all at once. Also, I know that I promised a daily blog update but I just really can't make that happen right now. So, I've decided to do a weekly update and possibly a bi-weekly update. I've just been spending so much time working out and cooking that I'm so tired by the time I actually have time to write something on here that I just want to lay down, watch the tube and fall asleep. And as far as trying to do too much all at once goes, I just have so many things/habits that I'm trying to change and I've set myself up to think that I was going to be able to change everything very quickly and do everything perfectly that I've found myself feeling very frustrated for not being completely perfect right off the bat. I have just been telling myself over and over that I actually AM doing a really good job and that it's going to get better and easier once I settle into my new habits more. Ya know, I think going from having drinks after work nearly every single day to even half that is an accomplishment. And also, I've noticed when I actually do drink I'm having much much less in one evening. Also, I've completely revamped my daily diet and that's an incredible accomplishment. (If you can't tell, I'm trying to convince myself of how well I'm doing) And although I haven't been at the gym as many times as I would like per week, I've still been going and really making my workouts count...I am literally kicking my own ass every time.
Anyway, enough proving myself to myself. Let me tell you how my week went last week!
I did my weigh in on Tuesday and even though I thought I didn't lose anything more, I actually lost another pound! So that's pretty cool. Now my weight is 275. I also lost some inches from the week before. Here are my starting inches: Chest: 51.5 Waist: 53 Hip:54 Thigh (left, right): 28.5, 27.5 Bicep (left, right): 15, 15.25. And here are my inches for my second week: Chest: 50.5 Waist: 52 Hip: 52.75 Thigh (left, right): 26.5, 26.5 Bicep (left, right): 15, 15. So just in the first week, WITHOUT BEING A TOTALLY PERFECT PERFECT PERSON, I lost one pound as well as 6.5 inches. Not too shabby, eh?!
My daily diet, at least during the day, is fairly similar. Every day I have 16 ounces of a Green Goodness drink, a bag of carrots, a banana, an apple, a lowfat yogurt smoothie, a Luna bar and some other type of berry, fruit or vegetable snack. Then for dinner I'll make something delicious and healthy. Like this week we had, a few times actually, whole wheat spaghetti with turkey and veggie meatballs in a delicious marinara sauce.
This week was a different story...I've started really struggling to be totally honest. When I say "this week" it's actually the week leading up to yesterday. I worked out about half the week last week and still ate really well the whole week and then the weekend hit. We'll just call it "Junk Food Apocalypse." I don't know about you guys but when I know I can't have or am not supposed to have something I just want it more. I end up feeling like I have absolutely no freedom and end up getting really frustrated and depressed. And so, Junk Food Apocalypse happened. I ate a lot of really unhealthy, fatty stuff this last weekend and had beers Friday, Saturday AND motha fuckin' Sunday. Seriously. What. Is. Wrong. With. Me? So, just over the weekend I ended up putting back on 2.5 pounds and I've really been tearing myself up about it. I feel so terrible that I've already had a pretty big setback so early in my process. I know I just need to keep working on the major picture and not dwell in my failures but I'm really just getting to be so frustrated and quite frankly just fucking pissed off that I ever let myself get to where I am now. I just feel like I have so much on my shoulders all the time and there are so many things about myself and in my life that I want to change that it makes it really hard to even focus. Then I have my constant anxiety issues that I have to work through on a daily/momentary basis, it's just fucking exhausting. I plan on going into depth about those issues as well soon, but just know if you also deal with anxiety and panic attacks, you're not alone and there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with you. Anyway, enough with the negativity.
First things first, to continue on and be successful, I need to find a good gym. I got a free 14 day pass to Anytime Fitness that's not too far from my house but I'm not sure I really like it. I'm also trying to work it into our budget...we were just hit with some car bills, vet bills and some other stuff that really put us behind and I also really need glasses/contacts and my annual female business taken care of within the next month and let me tell you, not having any kind of health insurance is FUCKING AWESOME! I'm being facetious. Anyway, lots of unneeded stress and I need to find better ways to deal with it besides relaxing with a few beers after work.
Alright guys, I'm gonna come up with a more organized way to conduct my thoughts into this blog soon. I think that's why it's so hard for me to get it done. Please feel free to leave words of encouragement...I can really use them. I just wanna be healthy, ya know? Love you all!
Anyway, enough proving myself to myself. Let me tell you how my week went last week!
I did my weigh in on Tuesday and even though I thought I didn't lose anything more, I actually lost another pound! So that's pretty cool. Now my weight is 275. I also lost some inches from the week before. Here are my starting inches: Chest: 51.5 Waist: 53 Hip:54 Thigh (left, right): 28.5, 27.5 Bicep (left, right): 15, 15.25. And here are my inches for my second week: Chest: 50.5 Waist: 52 Hip: 52.75 Thigh (left, right): 26.5, 26.5 Bicep (left, right): 15, 15. So just in the first week, WITHOUT BEING A TOTALLY PERFECT PERFECT PERSON, I lost one pound as well as 6.5 inches. Not too shabby, eh?!
My daily diet, at least during the day, is fairly similar. Every day I have 16 ounces of a Green Goodness drink, a bag of carrots, a banana, an apple, a lowfat yogurt smoothie, a Luna bar and some other type of berry, fruit or vegetable snack. Then for dinner I'll make something delicious and healthy. Like this week we had, a few times actually, whole wheat spaghetti with turkey and veggie meatballs in a delicious marinara sauce.
This week was a different story...I've started really struggling to be totally honest. When I say "this week" it's actually the week leading up to yesterday. I worked out about half the week last week and still ate really well the whole week and then the weekend hit. We'll just call it "Junk Food Apocalypse." I don't know about you guys but when I know I can't have or am not supposed to have something I just want it more. I end up feeling like I have absolutely no freedom and end up getting really frustrated and depressed. And so, Junk Food Apocalypse happened. I ate a lot of really unhealthy, fatty stuff this last weekend and had beers Friday, Saturday AND motha fuckin' Sunday. Seriously. What. Is. Wrong. With. Me? So, just over the weekend I ended up putting back on 2.5 pounds and I've really been tearing myself up about it. I feel so terrible that I've already had a pretty big setback so early in my process. I know I just need to keep working on the major picture and not dwell in my failures but I'm really just getting to be so frustrated and quite frankly just fucking pissed off that I ever let myself get to where I am now. I just feel like I have so much on my shoulders all the time and there are so many things about myself and in my life that I want to change that it makes it really hard to even focus. Then I have my constant anxiety issues that I have to work through on a daily/momentary basis, it's just fucking exhausting. I plan on going into depth about those issues as well soon, but just know if you also deal with anxiety and panic attacks, you're not alone and there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with you. Anyway, enough with the negativity.
First things first, to continue on and be successful, I need to find a good gym. I got a free 14 day pass to Anytime Fitness that's not too far from my house but I'm not sure I really like it. I'm also trying to work it into our budget...we were just hit with some car bills, vet bills and some other stuff that really put us behind and I also really need glasses/contacts and my annual female business taken care of within the next month and let me tell you, not having any kind of health insurance is FUCKING AWESOME! I'm being facetious. Anyway, lots of unneeded stress and I need to find better ways to deal with it besides relaxing with a few beers after work.
Alright guys, I'm gonna come up with a more organized way to conduct my thoughts into this blog soon. I think that's why it's so hard for me to get it done. Please feel free to leave words of encouragement...I can really use them. I just wanna be healthy, ya know? Love you all!
Monday, January 9, 2012
Jacq's Back!!!!
Hey EVABODY!!!
Sorry I didn't post anything this weekend, but I'm here now! So, here's how the weekend went...Saturday was my free day and it was pretty cool. Jude and I went to our favorite little cafe for lunch and I was really excited to go but I was not impressed, for the first time ever. The server (who is not our usual, trustworthy server) convinced me to get the homemade meatloaf grilled sandwich and I did not like it and it kind of made me sick later, but oh well. Later we ordered some sammies and got pretty tipsy, so that was fun. The whole allowing myself to have beers 3 days in a row was not such a great idea though. I'm pretty sure I haven't lost anymore weight...but I don't think I've gained any either, so that's good. It also made it easier for me to flub up on my eating in the evenings. But it's a new week and I think I'm doing fairly well with this drastic life change so far. I also didn't get a sufficient workout done this weekend as the rec center isn't open on the weekends. Geez, now that I'm writing all of this I feel like I kind of failed this weekend...
Well, enough of that...I suppose that's also one of the reasons why this blog is so good for me. It's forcing me to be more conscious of my decisions and I'm learning a lot about myself and what decisions not to repeat. Also, on a good note, I got a free 14 day pass to Anytime Fitness that's like 3 minutes from my house so I'm gonna try that gym out and see how I like it and then get a membership or try another gym. But I went there tonight for the first time and did an upper body workout and I really liked it. I'm also going to try to start going to the gym in the morning instead of after work. It's been really hard for me to get up earlier though since I stopped drinking so much because I've been having a harder time getting to sleep at a reasonable hour. So, I suppose that's another process I need to work on. From what I understand it's much better to exercise in the morning because it jump starts your metabolism for the day and also forces your body to tap into stored energy (fat) to power your body through your workout because you haven't eaten anything or much of anything yet.
In other super exciting news, Jude and I got Zumba for the Wii this weekend! I haven't really tried it yet but methinks it's gonna be fun. And THEN, the most exciting news ever of all time...drum roll please...Jude and I were in the back yard tonight with the dogs and our neighbors, Vicky and Judy, that own a triathlon/marathon/fitness store and training center stopped by and I got to telling them about what I'm doing and they want to help me! Vicky is also a personal trainer and she wants to help me, so I'll be meeting with her sometime this week. When I was talking to them about everything and they brought up wanting to help me, I told them I didn't have a lot of money and they said "We're not talking about charging you...we're talking about helping a friend." I'm pretty much speechless. So, so, so, so, so, so, so exciting! They are such wonderful people and I feel very blessed to have them as friends. I really just have a lot of wonderful people in my life. I love you all so much!
I'm feeling like this post is a little spacey and I'm going to make sure to post a lot earlier tomorrow. I still have a lot I want to talk about that I haven't yet...I think that's making it really hard for me to focus on what exactly I want to say. Anyway, I'm down for the count for now. Talk to you tomorrow! MWAH!!!! xoxoxoxo
Sorry I didn't post anything this weekend, but I'm here now! So, here's how the weekend went...Saturday was my free day and it was pretty cool. Jude and I went to our favorite little cafe for lunch and I was really excited to go but I was not impressed, for the first time ever. The server (who is not our usual, trustworthy server) convinced me to get the homemade meatloaf grilled sandwich and I did not like it and it kind of made me sick later, but oh well. Later we ordered some sammies and got pretty tipsy, so that was fun. The whole allowing myself to have beers 3 days in a row was not such a great idea though. I'm pretty sure I haven't lost anymore weight...but I don't think I've gained any either, so that's good. It also made it easier for me to flub up on my eating in the evenings. But it's a new week and I think I'm doing fairly well with this drastic life change so far. I also didn't get a sufficient workout done this weekend as the rec center isn't open on the weekends. Geez, now that I'm writing all of this I feel like I kind of failed this weekend...
Well, enough of that...I suppose that's also one of the reasons why this blog is so good for me. It's forcing me to be more conscious of my decisions and I'm learning a lot about myself and what decisions not to repeat. Also, on a good note, I got a free 14 day pass to Anytime Fitness that's like 3 minutes from my house so I'm gonna try that gym out and see how I like it and then get a membership or try another gym. But I went there tonight for the first time and did an upper body workout and I really liked it. I'm also going to try to start going to the gym in the morning instead of after work. It's been really hard for me to get up earlier though since I stopped drinking so much because I've been having a harder time getting to sleep at a reasonable hour. So, I suppose that's another process I need to work on. From what I understand it's much better to exercise in the morning because it jump starts your metabolism for the day and also forces your body to tap into stored energy (fat) to power your body through your workout because you haven't eaten anything or much of anything yet.
In other super exciting news, Jude and I got Zumba for the Wii this weekend! I haven't really tried it yet but methinks it's gonna be fun. And THEN, the most exciting news ever of all time...drum roll please...Jude and I were in the back yard tonight with the dogs and our neighbors, Vicky and Judy, that own a triathlon/marathon/fitness store and training center stopped by and I got to telling them about what I'm doing and they want to help me! Vicky is also a personal trainer and she wants to help me, so I'll be meeting with her sometime this week. When I was talking to them about everything and they brought up wanting to help me, I told them I didn't have a lot of money and they said "We're not talking about charging you...we're talking about helping a friend." I'm pretty much speechless. So, so, so, so, so, so, so exciting! They are such wonderful people and I feel very blessed to have them as friends. I really just have a lot of wonderful people in my life. I love you all so much!
I'm feeling like this post is a little spacey and I'm going to make sure to post a lot earlier tomorrow. I still have a lot I want to talk about that I haven't yet...I think that's making it really hard for me to focus on what exactly I want to say. Anyway, I'm down for the count for now. Talk to you tomorrow! MWAH!!!! xoxoxoxo
Friday, January 6, 2012
And So It Continues!
Hello again!
So, there is so much I want to write it's really hard for me to organize my thoughts...so, I'll start by thanking you all, including those of you I don't know, for your comments and support. This is so fun and and exciting!!! You are all so awesome and I already feel obligated to you all which is a really good thing!
I guess I'll start with my diet for the day and a confession for yesterday. Yesterday I had a pretty rough day...I was overly tired, very soar, had a really rough day at work which included a crying session in my car in the middle of the day and just felt very overwhelmed. I chose not to workout and ended up ordering a pizza and kind of pigging out. And those sons a' bitches even screwed my pizza up by putting sausage (blagh!!!) on it instead of mushrooms! So much for feeling "good" about cheating, am I right?! :) BUT, today was a brand new day...I felt awesome and refreshed and had a renewed positive attitude. I did really well with my diet today. Throughout the day I had a sandwich on very thinly sliced multi-grain bread with no mayo, tomatoes, cucumbers, a little bit of ham and avocado spread, onions, lettuce and alfalfa sprouts. I also had a banana, a honey crisp apple, a baggie of baby carrots, an organic strawberry lowfat yogurt smoothie, an orange juice not from concentrate enriched with calcium and a Luna bar. I also drank approximately 102 ounces of water and for dinner veggie burgers with tomatoes, onions and fresh avocado on whole wheat buns (plural because I have a husband ;) ).
When I got home from work today, I took care of the dogs and went straight over to the rec center to workout. Since I missed my workout yesterday I did cardio today and a tiny lower body workout. I did 12 minutes on the elyptical, increasing resistance and speed with each minute...so I really made those minutes count. I then did 5 minutes on the treadmill. I burned approximately 240 calories and "went" just under 2 miles! After my cardio workout I tried to do a lower body weight workout and it didn't work out so well, no pun intended. ;) Meh heh heh heh heh! I currently only have a membership to the rec center across the street and it has very limited resources so it's all free weights pretty much for anything lower body. I screwed my knees up a few years ago and they're too weak as of now for the lifts I was trying to do...at least with free weights anyway. So, I'm going to get a "real" gym membership soon, hopefully next week, so that I can do complete workouts. I really hated not being able to do my intended workout but it is what it is for now. I at least did 3 sets of 30 angled calf raises with 50 pounds in hand. I also did 3 sets of 15 ball situps on the yoga ball. I came out of it feeling great and pretty damn sweaty too! So all in all, it was a good day.
I think for a while my blog is gonna be pretty unfocused because there's so much I want to tell you all...so you'll find random bits of information here and there in my posts. Like, this for instance...Jude and I really want to have a baby, but I absolutely refuse to intentionally get pregnant while I'm so out of shape. So, that's also a big part of my motivation. I need get in great shape so I can just shoot those babies right out, ya know? ;) Oh yeah! Also, I can't figure out for the life of me how to post pictures on here without them being huge...kinda' makes me feel like an idiot. Any tips would be much appreciated. Haha, anyhooskis, again, I love you all and thank you for your time and support. You all are truly making this so much easier for me. I'll talk to you all tomorrow and tell you all about my free day! YAY! ;) Oh, and also, I wanted to ask all of you to be actual followers of my blog if you are, well, following it. It really helps me to see who's watching. ;) Goodnight my pets. Hahahahahahahaha!!! Mwah!!! :)
So, there is so much I want to write it's really hard for me to organize my thoughts...so, I'll start by thanking you all, including those of you I don't know, for your comments and support. This is so fun and and exciting!!! You are all so awesome and I already feel obligated to you all which is a really good thing!
I guess I'll start with my diet for the day and a confession for yesterday. Yesterday I had a pretty rough day...I was overly tired, very soar, had a really rough day at work which included a crying session in my car in the middle of the day and just felt very overwhelmed. I chose not to workout and ended up ordering a pizza and kind of pigging out. And those sons a' bitches even screwed my pizza up by putting sausage (blagh!!!) on it instead of mushrooms! So much for feeling "good" about cheating, am I right?! :) BUT, today was a brand new day...I felt awesome and refreshed and had a renewed positive attitude. I did really well with my diet today. Throughout the day I had a sandwich on very thinly sliced multi-grain bread with no mayo, tomatoes, cucumbers, a little bit of ham and avocado spread, onions, lettuce and alfalfa sprouts. I also had a banana, a honey crisp apple, a baggie of baby carrots, an organic strawberry lowfat yogurt smoothie, an orange juice not from concentrate enriched with calcium and a Luna bar. I also drank approximately 102 ounces of water and for dinner veggie burgers with tomatoes, onions and fresh avocado on whole wheat buns (plural because I have a husband ;) ).
When I got home from work today, I took care of the dogs and went straight over to the rec center to workout. Since I missed my workout yesterday I did cardio today and a tiny lower body workout. I did 12 minutes on the elyptical, increasing resistance and speed with each minute...so I really made those minutes count. I then did 5 minutes on the treadmill. I burned approximately 240 calories and "went" just under 2 miles! After my cardio workout I tried to do a lower body weight workout and it didn't work out so well, no pun intended. ;) Meh heh heh heh heh! I currently only have a membership to the rec center across the street and it has very limited resources so it's all free weights pretty much for anything lower body. I screwed my knees up a few years ago and they're too weak as of now for the lifts I was trying to do...at least with free weights anyway. So, I'm going to get a "real" gym membership soon, hopefully next week, so that I can do complete workouts. I really hated not being able to do my intended workout but it is what it is for now. I at least did 3 sets of 30 angled calf raises with 50 pounds in hand. I also did 3 sets of 15 ball situps on the yoga ball. I came out of it feeling great and pretty damn sweaty too! So all in all, it was a good day.
I think for a while my blog is gonna be pretty unfocused because there's so much I want to tell you all...so you'll find random bits of information here and there in my posts. Like, this for instance...Jude and I really want to have a baby, but I absolutely refuse to intentionally get pregnant while I'm so out of shape. So, that's also a big part of my motivation. I need get in great shape so I can just shoot those babies right out, ya know? ;) Oh yeah! Also, I can't figure out for the life of me how to post pictures on here without them being huge...kinda' makes me feel like an idiot. Any tips would be much appreciated. Haha, anyhooskis, again, I love you all and thank you for your time and support. You all are truly making this so much easier for me. I'll talk to you all tomorrow and tell you all about my free day! YAY! ;) Oh, and also, I wanted to ask all of you to be actual followers of my blog if you are, well, following it. It really helps me to see who's watching. ;) Goodnight my pets. Hahahahahahahaha!!! Mwah!!! :)
Thursday, January 5, 2012
And So It Begins...
Hey there everyone!
I'm extremely overweight and as hard as that is to say, I'm saying it. I love beer, junk food, ordering out, going out to eat and doing very lazy things like watching movies, playing video games and snuggling...but most of all beer. I'm pretty sure that's going to be my biggest challenge throughout this whole thing...beer, mmmmmm, beer. I used to be in pretty good shape and was fairly happy with how I felt and looked and now I've gotten to the point where how I feel about myself and how I feel in general is really taking a toll on my life and how I react to the world around me. I've come across some severe anxiety issues in the last few years, I'm worried about my health and it's very hard for me to even acknowledge how much the people in my life care about me. I've become so consumed with being unhealthy that it's kind of taken over and quite frankly, I'm done feeling this way. If I don't change something, I'm going to die. Now how shitty is it to say that honestly? Pretty shitty.
So, I've started the Body for Life for Women Program and I'm actually ready for it and super excited. And by the way, Body for Life is not a diet or some crazy craziness...it's a lifestyle change to what I should be doing for overall mind, body and soul health. I didn't start out totally gung ho, but instead am trying to set myself up for success. I have a lot of bad habits that I need to break. So, the first and so far the easiest change, has been my diet. Over the last few weeks I've completely revamped my diet for the better and have lost 6.5 pounds already. I started exercising on Tuesday and haven't had any booze (until tonight) for four days. For those of you that know me that is a true feat. I do love me some beers. Now that I have my diet under control we roll into operation "stop drinking so many damn beers." The plan for this week is that I can have beers (NOT get drunk, which I don't usually do anyway) Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Next week only Friday and Saturday and thereafter only Saturdays. In the Body for Life program I get one free day per week so I will have said beers on that day. As far as exercise goes, I will be doing cardio 3 times a week and weights 3 times a week. I will also be weighing in once per week. Before my diet change I weighed 282.5 pounds and I'm down to 276. Ultimately, I plan on losing 2-4 pounds per week and want to lose at least 50 pounds by July 1st. My goal weight is 145lbs and I'm really going to try for that within a year and a half, which I think is totally doable. So, uhhhhh, yeah. ;)
I'll start posting more specific food consumption and workout details soon...I want to do it on a daily basis and include some pictures of dinners...that's another thing! I'm really expanding on my cooking skill set throughout this as well, making all homemade, healthy dishes for dinner. So, that's gonna be fun! :)
I love you all and thank you in advance for your support. I'm not looking to be able to wear super sexy dresses and bathing suits or anything...honestly, I just want to feel good, feel good about myself, improve my life quality and look super hot in some ratty jeans, converse and a super cute sweatshirt. So start kissing my ass everyone!!!! Goodbye that is! Hahahahahahaha! :) MWAH!!!
I'm extremely overweight and as hard as that is to say, I'm saying it. I love beer, junk food, ordering out, going out to eat and doing very lazy things like watching movies, playing video games and snuggling...but most of all beer. I'm pretty sure that's going to be my biggest challenge throughout this whole thing...beer, mmmmmm, beer. I used to be in pretty good shape and was fairly happy with how I felt and looked and now I've gotten to the point where how I feel about myself and how I feel in general is really taking a toll on my life and how I react to the world around me. I've come across some severe anxiety issues in the last few years, I'm worried about my health and it's very hard for me to even acknowledge how much the people in my life care about me. I've become so consumed with being unhealthy that it's kind of taken over and quite frankly, I'm done feeling this way. If I don't change something, I'm going to die. Now how shitty is it to say that honestly? Pretty shitty.
So, I've started the Body for Life for Women Program and I'm actually ready for it and super excited. And by the way, Body for Life is not a diet or some crazy craziness...it's a lifestyle change to what I should be doing for overall mind, body and soul health. I didn't start out totally gung ho, but instead am trying to set myself up for success. I have a lot of bad habits that I need to break. So, the first and so far the easiest change, has been my diet. Over the last few weeks I've completely revamped my diet for the better and have lost 6.5 pounds already. I started exercising on Tuesday and haven't had any booze (until tonight) for four days. For those of you that know me that is a true feat. I do love me some beers. Now that I have my diet under control we roll into operation "stop drinking so many damn beers." The plan for this week is that I can have beers (NOT get drunk, which I don't usually do anyway) Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Next week only Friday and Saturday and thereafter only Saturdays. In the Body for Life program I get one free day per week so I will have said beers on that day. As far as exercise goes, I will be doing cardio 3 times a week and weights 3 times a week. I will also be weighing in once per week. Before my diet change I weighed 282.5 pounds and I'm down to 276. Ultimately, I plan on losing 2-4 pounds per week and want to lose at least 50 pounds by July 1st. My goal weight is 145lbs and I'm really going to try for that within a year and a half, which I think is totally doable. So, uhhhhh, yeah. ;)
I'll start posting more specific food consumption and workout details soon...I want to do it on a daily basis and include some pictures of dinners...that's another thing! I'm really expanding on my cooking skill set throughout this as well, making all homemade, healthy dishes for dinner. So, that's gonna be fun! :)
I love you all and thank you in advance for your support. I'm not looking to be able to wear super sexy dresses and bathing suits or anything...honestly, I just want to feel good, feel good about myself, improve my life quality and look super hot in some ratty jeans, converse and a super cute sweatshirt. So start kissing my ass everyone!!!! Goodbye that is! Hahahahahahaha! :) MWAH!!!
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